“Well no shit!” I hear you cry. “What next, famine? At what point did you become Mr state the fucking obvious?”
Wow, wow, wow, ladies and gentlemen please hear, well read me out. Of course before today I regarded misogynists to be on the same level as racists and homophobes. I assumed that’s how most forward thinking people regarded them and I thought there wasn’t much more to add to the debate. However last night I experienced it first hand and my ire has been incurred so lets have this out right now.
After a pleasant evening out with friends I was unexpectedly forced to phone for a cab home because my lady friend had accidental locked her keys in her car. I didn’t think much of this, after all she’s been driving for years and has never once been in an accident, been caught speeding or killed a child who had a whole life to lead. Of all the mistakes you could make when driving, locking your keys in your car, seemed pretty minor. The cab arrived and we got in. The reason we’d got a cab came up at the start of the journey and we were then treated to half an hour of bullshit from the biggest moron I’ve ever met in my life. He banged on (in front of my lady friend) about how women are terrible drivers. Usually I would have let this slide as I’m not the most macho man in the world and entering into an argument with the person driving you home isn’t usually wise. However the fact there was a lady present in the car quelled the calm, easy going side of me and brought out the enraged righter of wrongs and defender of justice. As I seethed in my seat the driver continued on to talk about how he often races at night with friends (how the fuck he got any of them I’ll never know) which only helped fuel the fire of my fury.
Just as steam started to blow out me ears he informed me, and I swear to God I’m quoting here:
“The only reason women win races is that they’re lighter than men”.
Nothing to do with what type of fucking engine you’ve got then! Does he think we all drive cars from The Flintstones! I knew if I bit my tongue any more I was likely to bite right through it so I informed him, and I quote again:
“I’ve never heard so much shit in my life”
“Oh really?” he retorted “And what makes you say that?”
“I think there are good drivers and bad drivers and what gender they are has nothing to do with it”
He replied, and again I swear to Dawkins (you know how much I like him) I’m not making this up.
“Well I think I’d know seeing as how I’ve driven a million miles”.
“Oh really? Well you must be drowning in pussy these days”
I didn’t say that last bit. I was so angry by this point my mind was too clouded to access the razor sharp wit I display on this blog. I did however tell him about the time my dad had managed to total a car not six months ago. Not as witty but more relevant I suppose. Anyway he delivered us home and I paid exactly what was owed without tip.
I think perhaps I was not only angry but a little shocked. Of course I know that discrimination exists but I had assumed that in a western country in the 21st century men and women were pretty much even. Of course both genders like to have a bitch about the other from time to time but when it really came down to it I thought we both had respect for one another. Maybe I’m being too naive or maybe I’m being too sensitive. Perhaps this man was part of a small percentage of ignorant fucks who are swiftly dying out. I hope so. Anyway that’s my rant over. All I can say now is goodnight and (if you live in the UK) never get a taxi from A Line Taxi’s. Walk if you must, I promise it’s better than risking a ride with that twat.
